


Did it hurt?

by violentincest



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violentincest/pseuds/violentincest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean tries to pick Cas up in a bar one night by using a lame pick-up line. When it doesn't work he decides to keep trying until it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did it hurt?

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Did it Hurt? (Traducción)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3548405) by [theaxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaxx/pseuds/theaxx)



> Cas tends to take things too literally. Because of this an idea popped into my head. How would Cas react to lame pick-up lines? Would he even understand the innuendo? To poor Dean's dismay he does not. This is a short, dopey, lame fic. If you're in the mood for that, please read on!

Dean liked to go to the Roadhouse after work. Not only did they play bitching music and have the best hamburgers in the world, but it was owned by his best friend’s mother. A lot of regulars came into the bar, and he knew all of them, except one. A man had started coming here about two weeks ago, every night Monday-Friday.

“You’re staring again.” Jo said. Jo was the bar owners daughter. She had long blonde hair, and an attitude that could rival his. They were really close, and had kissed once when drunken, but both had pulled away in disgust at kissing their “sibling.”

Dean sighed and looked away taking a swig of his beer. “I know.” he said.

He couldn’t help it. The man was short, shorter than his normal type but there was something about him. He had this messy black hair that always had a “just fucked” look to it. He wore a dorky tan trench coat which was a fashion don’t but on him looked adorable. He always came alone and sat there reading a book which was also intriguing especially in a bar. Then there were his eyes. They were the most attractive shade of blue Dean had ever seen. They were like a pool, one that you could drown in.

“So, go say hey already. He’s been here every night. Must live around here.”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“Is the great Dean Winchester scared? If you don’t go say hello I’m cutting you off.”

Dean sighed and looked at her. She looked totally serious and he knew that she was. She would cut him off, and made sure her mom did also.

“Fine.”

Taking a deep breath, he got up and walked over to the table. When he got there he realized that he didn’t know what to say. So, he said the first cheesy pick-up line that came to mind.

“Did it hurt?”

“Excuse me?” the man asked, finally looking up from his book. Dean shivered as his green eyes finally met the blue eyed strangers head on.

“Did it hurt?” he repeated.

The man paused. “Did what hurt?” He asked, furrowing his brows. Now, if that wasn’t the cutest thing ever.

“When you fell from heaven.”

Now the other man really looked perplexed.

“Why would I fall from heaven?”

Dean paused. Had the other really never heard this lame pick-up line before or was he messing with him?

“Because you look like an angel?” he replied, a questioning tone to his voice.

The man paused his eyes going wide, and then shook his head. “I may be named after an angel, but I am not one. Angels don’t exist.” he said.

It took a moment for Dean to realize this guy wasn’t joking. He looked legit upset that he couldn’t help Dean. Not knowing how to respond he turned on his heel and went back to his stool.

“How’d it go?” Jo asked as soon as he sat down.

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

“That bad huh?” she said laughing, and slammed another beer bottle down in front of him.

***********************************

The next day Dean saw the same man at the bar. He decided to try again. The man really couldn’t be that oblivious could he? Everyone knew a lame pick-up line when they heard one. If he tried again, surely the man would either strike up a conversation, or shoot him down for having bothered him again.

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Blue eyes peered up at him again. He saw the recognition on his face, and knew that he remembered him from yesterday. 

“No. I’m a college professor, and…” he paused to look around. “The bar is quiet full for a Tuesday night.”

Once again he turned on his heel and left.

***********************************

The next three nights ended up much the same way.

“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

“How would my phone number help your predicament? Also…why would you need to call yourself?”

“Your body is 50% water and I’m thirsty.”

“Whoever told you that information is mistaken. Male bodies are 60% water, which I’m sure they have plenty of at the bar to quench your thirst with.”  
“My Dr. says I’m lacking Vitamin U.”

“Is he the same one that told you the statistic about water? There is no such thing as Vitamin U. It’s actually an enzyme.”

By Saturday, Dean was a little happy the guy didn’t come to the bar. He was exhausted. He really couldn’t believe the guy was that dense, or he really was just that good at making Dean feel like a fool. When Monday rolled around he regained his steam and tried again.

“You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had Chemistry.”

“Is that why you keep talking to me?” Blue eyes- as Dean now called him- asked. “I don’t think so, but what school did you go to.”

Dean paused. The pick-up line didn’t work, but maybe this will segue way into another conversation. “I went around here.”

“No. I just moved here about a month ago. Sorry.” he said picking up his book again, and with that Dean was dismissed.

“Do you work at Dicks? Cause you’re sporting the goods.”

Blue eyes looked up, and then down at his outfit. “No. I bought the shirt and slacks at Walmart. I did buy my sneakers at Dicks though.”

After about a week of using lame pick-up lines Dean was about to give up.

“He’s obviously not interested! He can’t just think I’m walking up to him and shouting out random sentences.” he paused. “Unless he does and he thinks I’m crazy. Do you think he’s humoring me because he thinks I have some screws loose?”

“You have more then some screws loose.” Jo said. “But why don’t you just try talking to him like a normal person?”

“I did, but he just dismissed me!”

“Then maybe he’s just not that into you.”

“Ugh!” Dean said. “Were you and Sam watching those stupid chick-flik movies again? That sounds like one of those dumb titles.”

“Just go over and say something.”

Dean nodded. “One last shot. There is no way he won’t get the innuendo behind this one!” He grabbed his beer, downed it quickly, and then walked over.

“Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements.”  
“What is platform 9 and 3/4? A train station?”

“Really!?” Dean cried, throwing his hands up. “You don’t even get Harry Potter? I give up!” Shaking his head, he walked away leaving a very curious and confused Castiel in his wake.

 

***********************************

Sunday, Castiel met his brother Gabriel for lunch. Gabriel was the one who helped Castiel get the college teaching position as his girlfriend Kali was head of the department. They were at a cafe that Gabriel swore by because of the sweets. They spent a few minutes doing some small talk before Gabriel finally asked.

“So how’s everything going Cassie?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. He hated when Gabriel called him that, but if you told Gabriel no, he took that as “oh Gabriel please keep doing that.”

“School is good. I have some really bright students this semester, and then those who took my class because they thought it would be easy. They will probably drop my class before the half way mark.” he paused furrowing his brow. “There has been something strange though.”

“Strange? Coming from you? If you think somethings strange it must be. What’s up?”

“Well, I go to this bar every day after work to unwind with a book and a beer. They also have the best hamburgers that I have ever tasted.”

“Uh-huh.” Gabriel said waving him on.

“There’s this guy who is always there too. I think he knows the owner. He’s been coming up to me every night and saying some strange things. I think he might be crazy, or lonely. I’m not really sure.”

“What kind of strange things.”

“Well…” And Castiel preceded to tell him the things Dean had been saying. About half way through his story, Gabriel broke out in laughter.

“Oh Cassie! You really are a tripp! You’re too dense to even know someone is hitting on you.”

“Hitting on me?”

“Badly but yes. They are all really lame pick-up jokes that guys usually use on women. They almost never work, but are good for a chuckle.”

“Oh.”

“Is he attractive?”

Castiel thought back to the man at the bar. He was tall, had a nice rough voice. He also had the sweetest freckles and the most electric green eyes that reminded him of grass on a summer day.

“Yes, he is.”

Then I say go for it.

Later that night, when Castiel got home he booted up his laptop. He wanted to make sure that Gabriel wasn’t joking, and began to read some lame pick-up lines. 

***********************************

Monday Dean decided not to go over and bother the poor man anymore. He also didn’t think that his ego could take another blow. That was why when someone sat down next to him and began talking, he was surprised. He turned his head and realized that it was Blue eyes. Blue eyes was sitting next to him, and he was talking to him!

“Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control because I just saw a fox!”

Dean stared at him for a minute then slowly a smile broke out over his face, and he began to laugh. “Did you just use a lame pick-up line on me?”

Castiel smiled back embarrassed and nodded. “You’ve been doing it to me so I decided to repay you.”

“So you did notice?”

He shook his head. “No. I told my brother about you, and he pointed it out to me. Sorry, but my humor has always been bad. I don’t pick up on things very quickly.”

Dean nodded. “It’s okay.” he paused. “So were you just being friendly or are you…you know?”

“Interested?”

“Yeah.”

“How about you buy me a drink and we can talk about it….uh?”

“Dean.”

“Dean. I’m Castiel.”

“Alright Cas sure. Sure I can buy you as many drinks as you like.”


End file.
